When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
