Already got asked if we're dating
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
you never un-have a 4some
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
