I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I think my moral compass just broke
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize