so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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