your room smells of hookers.
And success
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
