you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
