oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
