in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
