wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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