It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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