So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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