If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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