Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
