he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
