we have officially lost it.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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