The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
