I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
