i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
