I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
