Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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