dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
