Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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