if you like me you must not know who I am
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
