well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
