im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
no, he came in my armpit
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
