btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
