Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
