Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I can text with my tongue
I've blown a few things in my day
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
