Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize