If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
