i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
