We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
So many bounce houses so little time
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
