You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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