don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
