Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
