They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
