i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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