I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
