You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
