I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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