check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i came on her dog
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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