Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
