Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
