Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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