You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
