You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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