Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
