the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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