im about as happy as oj after his trial
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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