You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
