I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
My balls are so social today.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
