Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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