I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
NoShamevember. You game?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
