We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
