Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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