Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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