So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she peed on how many people?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
