I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
