But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
