I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
