I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
