I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I think my moral compass just broke
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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