I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
