I want to stick my p in your. b.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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