I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize