i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I love having hate sex.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
its liver damage thursday
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
