if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
