a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
