No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
